Why Am I So Jealous Of Her Past?

Why am I jealous of my wife’s past?

Whether you’re upset about your wife’s sexual past or romantic past, it all boils down to the same thing: you’re suffering from an extreme jealousy disorder known as retroactive jealousy.

On the other hand, you may be more jealous of past relationships — who she once dated or was married to in the past..

Does retroactive jealousy go away?

It’s not.” It’s absolutely possible to overcome retroactive jealousy – I’m living proof of that, and so is a small army of former sufferers, spread out all over the world. In terms of my ex, it’s a long story. We have had some difficult conversations but the long and short of it is we’re OK now.

Should I leave my girlfriend because of her past?

If she was open enough about you with her past, then it’s probably because she trusts you and feels secure enough to tell you. … Especially if they have a hard time with it and feel guilty. If you want to stay with her but find that her past still bothers you then maybe you should talk to a professional.

Why does my wife keep bringing up the past?

The biggest reason anyone holds onto the past is because they don’t feel heard and/or fully understood by the person they perceived hurt them. You can do this by naming her emotion, not putting yourself into the situation for a moment and just hearing her experience.

Does her past matter?

Either it’s girl or boy PAST always matters. May be if you aren’t connected to your past anymore but it always does matter. At least both have right to know about their partner’s past. But sometimes the past doesn’t matter if you know that your partner has fully moved on and he or she is only into you.

How can I accept my girlfriends past?

How To Get Over Your Girlfriend’s Past: 8 Tips That Actually Work…Identify exactly what it is that bothers you. … Remind yourself that she’s the person you know and love now because of that past. … Focus on the future together. … Remember that you have a past too – beware of double standards! … Recognize that this is your problem, not hers. … Work on your self-confidence.More items…•

What if a girl tells you about her past?

When she gives you her past and lets you know she’s been hurt by a guy, it’s a very good indicator she wants a real relationship. By opening up her vulnerabilities and showing you her past, she’s telling you she trusts you and believes you won’t act like her ex did.

Why do I get so jealous and insecure?

At the root of jealousy lies fear of loss. Like many jealous partners, Kevin feared loss of their relationship, loss of self-respect, even loss of ‘face’ fearing how his friends would see him if he were to be ‘made a fool of’. Fear makes for feelings of insecurity. When fear lessens, so does jealousy.

Do guys think about their exes sexually?

Men view their ex-partners more fondly than women view theirs, study finds. … But it turns out men think about their female ex-partners more fondly than women do about their male exes, a recent study published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science found.

Should a girl tell a guy about her past?

She says, “If your bond with your partner is based on honesty and both of you are in love, then it is better to reveal the past. If both the partners are clear that this is a new life and mutually decide that they wouldn’t like to know each other’s past, then it is better to start with a clean slate.

How can you tell if your wife is lying to you?

Possible Signs of LyingAvoidance of eye contact, eyes glancing to the right, staring past you, or turning away from you while talking.Being hesitant.Body language and facial expressions don’t match what is being said such as saying “no”, but nodding the head up and down.Continual denying of accusations.More items…

How do you cure jealousy?

If you experience jealousy very frequently, here are some strategies that will help you out:Don’t Act On Your Feelings. It is hard not to act the way you are feeling. … Calm Down and Stay Vulnerable. … Express Your Jealousy in A Soft Way. … Appreciate Yourself. … Heal Your Wounds. … Trust Your Partner. … Trust Yourself.

Why am I obsessed with my girlfriend’s past?

If you’re struggling with constant—or obsessive—thoughts, constant questions, constant unease with regard to your girlfriend’s past, you may be dealing with retroactive jealousy OCD.

How do I stop being jealous of past girlfriends?

How to overcome your anxiety about your partner’s past relationships.Retrospective jealousy — or jealousy about your partner’s past — is a common issue for couples. … Normalize your feelings. … Validate the pain. … Don’t turn your relationship into a trial. … Realize that there is a reason the past is in the past.More items…•

Is retroactive jealousy a mental illness?

Rather, it is a genuine mental health disorder, which shares all the same traits as other forms of OCD. Likewise, Retroactive Jealousy (RJ) isn’t just a quirky term used for jealousy. It is similarly a form of ROCD based around intense jealousy towards a partner’s romantic past.

What does retroactive jealousy feel like?

You might feel frustrated or confused by your partner’s feelings. You don’t intend to leave them, and you barely think about past relationships. They might recognize this on some level, but it may require help from a therapist to work through jealousy and accept it.

Should I worry about my partner’s past?

If there’s one thing that you don’t really need to worry about from your partner’s past it’s their sexual history. You should talk about your sexual history, especially for health reasons. But specifics like how many people they slept with, or the things they did with other people, shouldn’t trouble you.

Is it healthy to talk about past relationships?

Talking about past relationships can give your partner insight into who you are. … Reflecting on a past relationship can even help you find out something about yourself that you may have missed during the relationship and breakup.